Behold. I am Constanza: Lord of the Idiots.|
So, in my anger dealing with the bully, I lashed out at someone who didn't nearly deserve what I gave out. And now they're scared of me.
My life officially sucks.
I wish someone actually gave a @#$! about me, so that I wouldn't get to this point.
Current Mood: depressed
Uhhh... if you need to talk, feel free to IM me... I'm on Y! right now and I'll be here til 8 or 9.
|Date:||September 4th, 2007 02:48 am (UTC)|| |
This is going to be a reverse of the conversations we usually have... but I know exactly how you feel, and sometimes there's no way around it. We are polite to those who we are told to be polite to, but things build up and they automatically get dumped on the one person who doesn't deserve it. For example, I know in the past year I have been a gigantic b**** to Richard (you know, the soulmate, love of my life) to the point where I was actually once not talking to him cause I was so surley - all because various things at UEA and at home weren't allowing me to lash out at the appropriate people. I picked the easiest target - not consciously, mind you. I was just around him the most and it was unavoidably going to be him who got the brunt of the repressed anger/stress/anxiety/frustration - something that normally wouldn't bother me much simply tipped the scale from simmer to boil over a few times. He's been a star for putting up with me - and swears up and down he understands perfectly (I still feel awful for it, though).
Were it me, I'd apologise immediately and, even if it's embarrassing, tell them exactly what instigated it all. Even if they're still afraid of you, at least you've cleared the air - and for me, the worst is someone not knowing my side of the story. As long as they know, the lines of communication are open and all that jazz.
And a bunch of us out here DO give a @#$! about you, as you so eloquently put it, and you're free to rant at me any time you like. I've always found that just telling someone what's wrong - even if it doesn't fix things - certainly serves as catharsis. Various IM contact details are on the profile - here as well as Facebook. :)
And a bunch of us out here DO give a @#$! about you
Locals do too.
Just agreeing with everyone else mostly...we really do care.
One of the things I've noticed over time is that it doesn't matter how much people tell us to ignore it and it'll eventually stop...it never does. If that were true, people would have stopped teasing me for being short a long, long time ago. It's made me decide that some bullies aren't out for a reaction, they're just jerks.
The person you lashed out at will most likely understand.
In my experience, there tend to be 3 types of bullies out there. The ones out for a reaction, the ones who are just out for themselves, and don't really care who they hurt, and the ones who really don't understand that what they're doing is hurtful. Unfortunately, the appropriate reaction to these people is different depending on their category, and as the recipient of the bullying, we're ill-prepared to identify which kind they are, and thusly what the appropriate response is.
That said, the other thing I've found is that the person you end up lashing out at when things reach the boiling point is probably reacting to you the same way you are to the bully. Hurt certainly, but more confused than anything. Explaining what happened to lead to your outburst will, more often than not, bring the person even closer to you than you were before, and they will be the first person to help you deal with the original problem.
|Date:||September 4th, 2007 08:17 pm (UTC)|| |
I think the reaction to every bully needs to be the same... love them as Christ loves you. Not an easy task, but one required of those called by His name. Your test will be your testimony, your mess will be your message.
|Date:||September 5th, 2007 03:24 am (UTC)|| |
My man teaches in Flint. So that whole god thing might not work as well as you would hope. Not sure who this bully is, but if its at work, then chances are that person has the Flint mentality. If you need to fight fire with fire, just drop hints and those with bigger bullies as friends might just call on a favor.
|Date:||September 7th, 2007 08:24 pm (UTC)|| |
I have to disagree. The God thing ALWAYS works.
|Date:||September 7th, 2007 11:22 am (UTC)|| |
Yes because guns solve problems? I am an avid gun owner and a CPL holder who lives right near the university, attends it, and has professor Huggins for class... Guns wont solve our problems, maybe getting people jobs so they don't have despair that we cant understand (thanks GM).
but if that doesn't work, I do have guns.